Monday, 15 April 2013

Beefalo

Beefalo, Buffalo, Crossbreed, Beef, Cattle, Cow,

BEEFALO

Noun. Plural beefaloes or same. L20.
[from BEEF + BUFFALO]

(An animal of) a breed of bovine that is 5/8 buffalo and 3/8 domestic cow.

Beefalo? Seriously? This one is new to me and, to be truthful, it doesn't sound very appetising - the word beefalo just screams Frankenfood, and seeing pictures of these singularly distinctive looking beasts does little to assuage my initial recoil. Seriously, though - beefalo? Is it even possible that a word formed as a compound from a meat product and a species type could ever sound appetising? Porkopotamus anyone?

Now before I start getting angry emails from The American Beefalo Association, I should point out that my faith in meat production has been somewhat jaded recently by the European horse-meat-in-everything scandal. After doing some reading on the subject, however, it would seem that beefalo is anything but a Frankenfood. In fact, according to the aforementioned association, beefalo meat has less fat, cholesterol and calories than traditional (delicious sounding) beef. The animals themselves are also easier to manage and raise and, perhaps most importantly, the end product is said to be absolutely scrumptious (my word, not theirs - beefalo ranchers don't use words like scrumptious). So why, considering beefalo's much vaunted superiority, has it not caught on across the world? It's the name - I'm certain of it. As long as this animal has a weird, makey-uppy, man-interfering-with-nature type name, it will never go truly global. 

On the other hand, I can't stop thinking about porkopotamus. Hmm. It just might have the potential to be big - really big. If you have the skills and resources to help pilot a breeding programme, contact me. Who knows? Maybe soon people the world over will be sitting down to a nice, tender porkopotamus steak, washed down with a refreshing glass of warm beefalo milk. Mmhmm.

Have you eaten beefalo? Do you want to eat beefalo? Are you interested in my porkopotamus enterprise? Please leave any comments below. 

11 comments:

  1. I have a flourishing business supplying chickuggets and lambababs to, frankly, wealthy idiots. If you have already patented and successfully produced porkopotamus, my people and your people really should have a chat over a cup of tearamisu.

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    1. Wealthy idiots are a good target market. Your people and my people will talk.

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  2. I'm not convinced - looks like a bull to me.
    Hybrids or mammals mixed unproportionality are termed hybrids, and hybrids are sterile.
    As far as I can understand, an occasional female may be fertile with cross breeds - but not enough to support a natural cycle of such animals (if such weirdness was ever to occur naturally) and not nearly enough to make money from. On a cattle farm if a cow didn't become pregnant on first attempt - it would be a trip to the abattoir - no time to take another chance with the animal.

    Are you sure this isn't our friendly american friends pretending to be so cleaver as to crack the hybrid/sterile 'problem' - as I said, 'looks like a bull'.

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    1. No, Ross, I'm not sure of anything with this post! All I know is it's in the Oxford English Dictionary, and there are numerous sites and sources vaunting the wonders of beefalo. It definitely exists but, like I said, I can't understand why it's not better known if it really is all its cracked up to be.

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  3. I don't usually eat meat, so I'll pass on both beefalo and porkopotamus. Unfortunately,here in the US, even vegetables seem to be inspired by Dr. Frankenstein's monster. For example, onions are as big as coconuts (would that make them coconions?).

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    1. Yup... Very large onions here in Canada too, though I find normal sized, at least what I consider normal, ones as well. What is normal in Europe?

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    2. A large onion here would be the size of a cricket ball, and they can go down to a golf ball (probably smaller, depending on the type). I like the idea of coconions - I've been trying to imagine how it would taste ever since you mentioned it!

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  4. I laughed repeatedly through this, especially at your use of frankenfood! I am also sorry to report that, despite living in the prairies with much beef and some buffalo, I have never heard of this.
    Best of luck with porkopotamus haha.

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    1. Hmm. That's a shame. I would really like to hear from someone that has sampled a beefalo steak. And thank you - if one day you see a post here to the effect of "Lexicolatry is now the property of Porkopotamus Inc", you'll know I cracked it. Talking of which, Porkopotamus Inc. makes me wonder if we should throw squid into the mix ... ? Hmm.

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  5. After your description--yes, I would dearly love to sample some beefalo! lol However, not sure about porkopotamus! LOL

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