Thursday, 9 May 2013

Bename

Bename, Benempted, Name, Parents, New Zealand
A baby boy robbed of his right to be named Juztice Justus 4Real * H-Q

BENAME

Verb trans. Past tense & past participle benamed, benempt(ed)
[Old English benemnan, formed as BE- + NAME verb.]

1. Declare solemnly or on oath. OE-E17

2. Name; describe as. L16-M19

Did you know that New Zealand is a police state? It's true, as exemplified by its outright attack on the fundamental rights of decent parents who want nothing more than to bename their progeny with a memorable moniker.

For example, if a religiously inclined parent wished to bename their child ChristMessiah or Lucifer, they would feel the full force of New Zealand's bureaucratic machine of repression, as these names are officially banned.

Also, on what can only be seen as an outright attack on New Zealand's royalist population that wish to honour their nation's membership of the Commonwealth, King, Princess, Prince, Royal, Duke, Majesty, Knight, Queen, Regal and Queen Victoria are also banned.

Perhaps most chilling of all, New Zealand has cracked down on any semblance of original thought when it comes to benaming your child. Such pearls of individuality as III, 3rd, Mafia No Fear, *, Qeen V, . (yes, that's a full stop), 5th and Juztice are all banned. Surely the repression of such shining non-conformism is the hallmark of a nascent police state that, if we stand back and do nothing, will rob the world, nay its children, of names like Juztice, which is justice spelt with a Z. The irony of this state's unjuzt actions would be funny were it not so tragic (although the one name on the list I do agree with is Anal - who in their right mind would call their child that? That's just crazy).

Someone (I don't remember who) once said: "For evil to flourish, the good need only do nothing." Had they been benempted better (for example as Mafia No Fear III), I would no doubt remember and they would not have slid into such obscurity. Therefore, I say let us not stand idly by: write to their MPs, picket the New Zealand embassy in your country and boycott New Zealand goods. Together, we can stand for the rights of parents to bename their children whatever the hell they want, according to whatever whimsy takes them, and with complete disregard for that child's future integration or employment prospects.

11 comments:

  1. After all, who cares about how the kid will feel growing up with a name no-one really knows how to pronounce, write, or use in a sentence without offending someone? It's not as if anyone will ever pay any attention to your name. It's not as if a name has some sort of identity-shaping quality to it, if only because of how people respond when hearing it for the first time.

    I for one was thinking of benaming one of my future children as "Princess PopPyloviNs Kittykat the Third <3." I think that'd be a wonderful little boy's name, don't you think?

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    1. I do, Bibi, and I stand by your right to do that to a child.

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  2. Hmmm... Ed, this post is out of character for you. What made you chose the word, 'bename' to be part of your blog? Apart from your the fact that it gave you an opportunity to have a little rant... :)Chlobo

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    1. I'm almost ashamed to say it, Chlobo, but righteous indignation at police states aside, the past participle of 'bename' would have won it a place in Lexicolatry. Come on! Benempted? Is that not the coolest, most interesting past participle ever? Don't you think? No? Anyone? *sighs*

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    2. Someday perhaps you will be benempted by the Queen...but apparently not a Queen Victoria from New Zealand. Hmm, would that be Kiween Victoria?

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    3. *groans*

      (OK ... that was actually rather good)

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  3. In Greece it's kind of an unspoken rule that parents should bename their kids after their own parents. That's why most cousins have the same name. Also, it's common for mothers-in-law to argue about whose name will be given to the baby and hold grudges for a long time after the baptism takes place. Oh yes, you're not given a name if you aren't baptized as a Christian Orthodox. When some parents delay the process of the baptism their kid is called Unbaptized Papadopoulos, for instance.

    New Zealand doesn't sound that bad now, right? :)

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    1. But how about non-religious Greeks? They must exist, no? Can't go about life without a name.

      It's kind of funny but your comment reminded me of my mum's "problem" when she was pregnant with my brother. A month or two before my brother, my cousin was born, and my aunt (his mum) decided to give him almost exactly the same name as my mum had in mind for her future son. So then my parents had to invent a new name for my brother.
      ... I think mum's still holding a tiny little grudge because of that, because my aunt "stole" my brother's name.

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    2. Even if you are an atheist, you baptize your child in Greece. The state and church are intertwined which means he/she may face a great deal of problems as an adult. I guess only immigrants can remain unbaptized but I'm sure they will have to face bullying and racism at school.

      Many young couples say they will not baptize their children but when the time comes they all succumb for some reason. What can I say??

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    3. I'm off to picket the Greek embassy : o )

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    4. I'm English and, as such, don't really know what's going on, but I would like to state that I agree with everything bibi, evi, ed, Nick and chlobo said, when the exception of ed's assertion that 'benempted is the coolest, most interesting past participle ever.' how could you ever know that ed? maybe there's a cooler one out there, and I, for one, suspect it has something to do with snowboarding.

      -c in Seattle, should be working

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