Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Brachiate - That's Just the Way I Swing, Baby

Brachiation
A baby orangutan - another great swinger
(photo by Patrizia Soliani)

BRACHIATE

Verb intrans. Mid-19th century.
[Back-formation, from next.]

Move as a brachiator does.

BRACHIATOR

Noun. Mid-19th century.
[from Latin brachium arm + -ATOR.]

ZOOLOGY. An ape which moves by using the arms to swing from branch to branch.

Who doesn't remember spending endless hours on the monkey bars at school? Well I don't for one. Swinging from anything - and certainly brachiating - was always far beyond my physical ability (as was climbing up a rope). In fact, I am spectacularly bad at climbing, so I can only look on in bemused awe at the likes of free runners, Jackie Chan and, of course, brachiating apes. When it comes to brachiation, however, even the best of humans pale into embarrassed silence when compared to the King of the Swingers - the gibbon.

Brachiator, Brachiate, Swinging,
A white-handed gibbon
(photo by Thomas Tolkien)
The gibbon is anatomically perfect for arboreal locomotion - its wrists are ball and socket joints, enjoying a huge range of motion and allowing dramatic changes of direction; even its shoulder joints have a much greater range than that of humans and most other apes. Brachiating through the tree tops, it can reach speeds up to 35mph (56kph) and jump gaps of 50 feet (15 metres). While the beauty and grace of its locomotion is beyond question, its arboreal lifestyle is not without risks, and the average wild gibbon can expect several fractures over the course of its 25 year lifespan.  Sadly, the risks posed to the gibbon by brachiation are nothing compared to those it faces through loss of habitat and poaching, with virtually every species of gibbon being critically endangered. Oh, and one last snippet of trivia regarding the world's greatest brachiator: while it may be tempting to make crude jokes about swinging and swingers and so forth, the gibbon is (very unusually) a completely monogamous ape. Therefore, save your bawdy jokes for the Trollop of the Trees - the positively immoral bonobo.

Endangered, Brachiation, Call,
"The bonobos do whaaaaaaa?"
(photo by Andrew West)


Can you brachiate?

Have you ever seen a gibbon (or any other brachiating ape) doin' its thang?

Were you planning on making a swinging joke at the end of this post?

Make like a tree and leave a comment below.
Posted by at
Labels: , , , ,

14 comments:

  1. AnonymousWednesday, 9 October 2013 at 18:04:00 BST

    My inability to brachiate was a great source of social embarrassment until I had the good fortune to injure my shoulder and thereby ensure I would always have an excellent excuse for non-participation in brachiation. It's quite clever how my shoulder suddenly becomes painful whenever there is even the smallest hint that I might be asked to brachiate in public.

    (I did consider making a joke about the fact I have been known to swing both ways when drunk, but I'm sure it's not true as I don't have any recollection of doing any such thing. I can barely even stand after a glass of wine so I'm sure any form of brachiation would be quite out of the question. As for 'both ways', I'm not sure if even gibbons can brachiate backwards.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie FWednesday, 9 October 2013 at 22:44:00 BST

      Maybe a backwards brachiating gibbon is like their version of a superhero.

      Backward-Brachiator Boy

      I think a male gibbon is a boy. I need to consult an expert.

      Delete
  2. Arboreal NerdWednesday, 9 October 2013 at 21:47:00 BST

    I can't brachiate but I tend to walk around a lot with my arms in the air like I just don't care exactly like that gibbon does. The similarity is quite uncanny.
    And before tree climbing I'm known to "power up".
    And I'm also completely monogamous. This is getting weirder and weirder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie FWednesday, 9 October 2013 at 22:41:00 BST

      I think the reason they're monogamous is they understand any successful relationship is based on gibbon take.

      Oh my word.

      I do apologise.

      I think I've just blown any chance I had of winning a humour award on Saturday ...

      Delete
  3. Muhammad HassanThursday, 22 November 2018 at 17:27:00 GMT

    Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. Best Tree Swings

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownMonday, 13 May 2019 at 09:35:00 BST

    What is the concept of vitamins? Inside this article, you will learn about health as a concept and how it relates to worksite wellness programs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. a;IQ BABPP;Thursday, 20 June 2019 at 11:08:00 BST

    The longstanding period this Company has been in business over 100 years indicates Carrom Foosball table to be a staple in the American diet of playing Foosball. We hope you now know better Carrom brand and you have no best quality foosball table

    ReplyDelete
  6. CharliceTuesday, 17 September 2019 at 14:49:00 BST

    Thank you for this fabulous post. I have a question. For a new parent that is researching the best baby products to buy, which product will you recommend as the must-have before every other product? Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 123456789Saturday, 7 December 2019 at 11:14:00 GMT

    Guardians who do a great deal strolling ought to think about acquiring a full or average size carriage, while dynamic guardians are more qualified for the jogger buggy.samo garn

    ReplyDelete
  8. Muhammad RafeyTuesday, 10 December 2019 at 13:39:00 GMT

    I found your this post while searching for some related information on blog search...Its a good post..keep posting and update the information. product review sites

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lily CharlieTuesday, 9 June 2020 at 09:18:00 BST

    In other words, your stroller should cover the primary safety needs. Ideally, you may want to get one that features a safety strap. Parentsrights strollers

    ReplyDelete
  10. changemusicSaturday, 12 September 2020 at 07:32:00 BST

    The market is congested with all kinds of baby food; however, you do not exactly know which one to choose as most of the products imitate the others. newborn baby stuff

    ReplyDelete
  11. Grace EllaMonday, 12 October 2020 at 16:01:00 BST

    That's Just the Way I Swing, Baby is very funny post especially the pictured which you have mentioned on your post. Essay Writing Service

    ReplyDelete
  12. BellaWednesday, 4 November 2020 at 15:33:00 GMT

    Enormously pleased to be able to make my travel in this exciting brachiation details. Yeah not only our kids but we also love to enjoy such swing event. Really the gibbon looks so so entertaining. I love to swim through such jubilant activities. Also to entertain our kids, we often take them into Juicy drop pop and absolutely they loss themselves for hours. BTW it was really a colorful read.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)