Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Capernoited - A Grumpy Drunk

Photo by Dave Sinclair

CAPERNOITED

Adjective. Scots. Archaic. Early 18th century.
[origin unknown.]

Irritable; peevish; muddle-headed; affected by drink.

A quirk of British people is that they often categorise themselves by what type of drunk they are - "Oh I'm a happy drunk," "I'm a luvvy-duvvy drunk," or "I'm a complete look-at-me-wrong-and-I'll-smash-your-face-in drunk." Not many admit to being that last one (although those that do are invariably proud of it), and not many admit to being the capernoited drunk either - the peevish, irritable, can't-be-reasoned-with drunk: "Yeah? Who are you to drunk me? Alwaysh fink yer show shuperior, don'ya? Don'ya! Well let me be the firsht to tell you that you ain't. Geroff me! Don' you put your hands on me! I 'ave rights! Human rights!" Etc, etc. The good thing about an altercation with a capernoited drunk is that you only need to wait two minutes and he'll be fast asleep. Either that or sobbing on your shoulder, telling you how sorry he is and how much he loves you.

Are you a capernoited drunk?

Are you capernoited even without a drink?

Do please comment your leaves here ... you big ugly ... zzzzzz ...

4 comments:

  1. It's good to see this word is still in the OED! It's on my 'to do' list.
    Capernoity has the same meaning.

    Sometimes I'm a bit capernoited first thing in the morning - the muddle-headed part, not the affected by drink part! :)
    Sometimes! :)

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    1. It does seem like a rather Jinglesesque word. As for you being capernoited - no, never, I refuse to believe it. Not even in the morning, drink or no drink.

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  2. I'm a wonderful drunk and I don't remember anyone ever telling me otherwise.

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    1. Oh me too. And I'm such a good dancer when I've taken a pint or three. And so profound! Sometimes I weep at my own drunken profundity.

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