Thursday, 6 February 2014

Carriwitchet - Puns, Damned Puns & Conundrums

"You did what? With words?"
(photo by Tambako)

CARRIWITCHET

Noun. Obsolete excluding Scottish. Also carwitchet. Early 17th century.
[Origin unknown.]

A pun; a conundrum.

If my two-year-old refuses to have a nap, can she be charged with resisting a rest?

Why don't Selfridges sell fridges?

Does dropping a bowl of alphabet soup spell disaster?

If you're deceptive, is it a lie ability?

Is drilling for oil really boring?

Should frog spawn be X-rated?

Would an IV confuse a Roman doctor?

Can a pilot take a crash-course?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Was Bill Stickers ever prosecuted?

Do they take coffee breaks at the Tetley factory?

Do all sailors wear small hats to avoid cap sizing?

Isn't it time to give the screwdriver back to Philip?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Whose idea was it to put an s in lisp?

Do sheep shrink in the rain?

Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?

Have you ever actually tried to chop anything with chopsticks?

Should I be sincere even if I don't mean it?

Is the nose the scenter of the face?

Are crop circles made by cereal killers?

If a crow gets hungry, is it ravenous?

If you put a leash on a pencil, is it easily lead?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?

What were Barn Owls called before there were barns?

Why do you stand up and say your name at Alcoholic's Anonymous?

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

What do people in China call their fine plates?

Why do psychics need to ask you for your credit card number?

Can a dead pig really be cured?

Are clones people two?

Did Noah take termites onto the Ark?

If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

Have you ever actually tried to draw a blank?

Why are there self-help groups?

Did they ever find out who let the dogs out?

If a farmer tells a cow the same joke twice, is he milking it?

Is an inside-out right-hand glove just an outside-in left-hand glove?

Etc, etc ...


Do you have the answers?

Do you have more questions or contextless puns?

Do please leave your punniest comments in the box below.

9 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear your x-box is broken ed.

    -c.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My X-box isn't broken ... it's just ... oh forget it ... you'd never understand.

      Delete
  2. WOW that's a lot of puns.

    The system is overloaded.

    Full shutdown is in effect.

    NO MORE, Eddie, PLEASE, NO MORE!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Made the other half laugh with the quizzical one!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pundemic! Hahahahaha! C, you're killing me!

    Great post. It's only when I see things like your post today that I forget and for a second I think, that would be perfect for my students!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do refer your students over to Lexicolatry, Evi - I'm sure they'll find it positively marvelous here!

      Delete