|To make a crop circle, you need (too much) time, a plank and some string ...|
(photo by Massimiliano Mitch)
Noun. Late 20th century.
A student or investigator of crop circles.
cereology noun L20
I've never met a cereologist, and somehow I don't feel my life is any emptier because of it. Considering that numerous serial cereal surrealist pranksters have not only come forward to say "Guys! It was us!" but clearly demonstrated how crop circles are made, aren't cereologists simply puzzling over a puzzle that's already been solved? Are they not working on a boondoggle of a blivit of a crossword that's already had all the answers pencilled in?
Of course, no, and some are always going to believe that crop circles are not simply the work of unemployed plank-wielding plonkers, but rather the handiwork of aliens, spirits, plasma-infused weather anomalies or the collective will of humanity coalescing gestalt-style into one awesome, unstoppable force with the sole purpose of flattening some poor farmer's crops (especially if said belief continues to sell books, guided tours, and - oh the cynicism! - spiritual healing retreats).
So, if there are any cereologists out there, do feel free to comment. I really would like to know why, if this is the work of aliens, leprechauns, or some other higher intelligence, they couldn't make their messages just a teeny bit less ambiguous, especially if they're communicating really important stuff like the dangers of global warming, nuclear warfare or reality TV. Also, as you are cereologists, do you not think your time would be better spent solving real cereal-based conundrums? For example: why is the second bowl of muesli always crunchier than the first? Seriously, I want to know. Get on it, guys.
|... or just your kids' paddling pool.|
(photo by Ben Newton)
Are you a cereologist?
Are you an alien, spirit, prankster or intelligent weather anomaly that makes crops circles?
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